Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Struttin' with some Barbeque...and Bourbon

There's a great site out there called B&  Please don't confuse it to be a listing of Bed & Breakfasteseses but rather it's a world wide web site (WWWS) that waxes (on and off, if your Danielson) about bourbon and ladies (kindly referred to as Bitches on the site).

After checking it out two weeks ago, I decided to wilt my appetite with my two favorite B's - Bourbon and Barbeque.  So, I headed off to this local barbeque dive that's been in business since the 80's.  It's only known to the locals and I almost hate to put the name on here because it will be all the more difficult to get a seat, but it is called Taco Bell.  It has the most wonderous barbeque menu and it's unbelievably flavorful.  It's so damned good that if you ain't sportin' wood after your first bite you're banned from the joint for life!  Seriously, you actually have to stand up after your first bite and show everyone your trousers.

Anyway, here is a sampling of their barbeque menu:

Taco Supreme
5-layer beef borrito
7-layer beef borrito
Nachos Supreme

BBQ Sauces:

It is located in Spokeydoke, OK, if anyone cares to try it.

Anyway, while blowing virtual loads while eating me some 5 Taco Supremes and 2 Taco Volcano barbeques, I broke out the perfect coupling - Bourbon.  Nothing goes better with Taco Bell than George Pendleton Stagg Kentucky Straight Bourbon.  Now this baby is a rare one for two reasons: 1. They only have 10 releases of this stuff a year and 2. it holds the very rare and coveted distinction of Kentucky Straight Bourbon!  There are only 5 bourbons that can carry, by law, this distinction on their bottle.  The others are Michters (under the lable of H.J. Hirsch), W.H. Harrison, Jeremiah Weed (only the banana flavor) and White's.

As I pulled this puppy out of my napsack and gave myself a little pore, an apparent Taco Bell employee comes up to me and says: "Ey you, no dranka day like-wars in hea."  Not understanding him, I shook my head, raised my glass and said, "Why, yes it is hot today. My momma said it was gonna be."

I don't think he understood me well either.  I drew this conclusion while laying flat on my back on the Taco Bell floor with him sitting on my chest knocking about my face and head with his knuckles.  It wasn't until much later on, while I was recovering from a concussion at the Okie Hospital, that I found out that Pablo Fuentes - the guy who was so kind to put me down for a nap on the oh-so-clean floor at Taco Bell - was trying to tell me that I could not drink liquor on the premisis.  He then thought I said in return, "Your mother is a dirty whore" to which he responded swiftly.

Anyway, I'm much better know.  The ringing in my ear is not nearly as loud as it was last week and I know longer have the elusive triple vision - it's down to two now.

Moral of the story: A. Never mess with Pablo Fuentes if you decide to eat at Taco Bell and 3. always pair your favorite barbeque with bourbon.

Your pal,


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