Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The Golden Age of Bourbon

So there I was, standing in my living room wearing my leopard-print leotard, dancing to Barbara Striesand and drinking my favorite imbibery, Straight Bourbon, and I hear a knock on my front door.  Figuring it's one of my ex-girlfriends, I ignore and keep dancing.  The Straight Bourbon I was drinking was some of the finest bourbon in the land, Kentucky Gentleman.  Right in the middle of my minuette, I hear wood splintering in the distance.  Frozen in fear, I waited to see who was about to come around the corner.  I'm thinking thieves - this is a robbery and I may get myself killed.  But much to my chagrin, it was only the Police.  But before I could say anything, I was eating carpet with one of the officer's knees in my back.  Oiled up, wearing my leotard, with my mini-mouse cap on my head, I asked, "Is there a problem, officer?  Because, you know, I'm really upset that my Kentucky Gentleman bourbon was spilt."

The office quickly  jumped up and turned me around with the cuffs still on and said, "Are you kidding me?!  Was that really KG?"  I said yes while pointing to the bottle of bourbon sitting on my mantle place next to my Peewee Herman doll and picture of Oprah Winfrey.

His jaw dropped to the floor and he began to drool.  One of the other officers in my house began singing, "Awwww yeeeeeea, there's a party up in here, up in here, up in here," while the other four officers dance around Babb's.  I was quickly uncuffed and introduced to the crew of officers.  Lt. Robert Stonecolde, the one who threw me about like I threw Peewee in bed, shook my hand and asked if he could have a drink.  I said, "Have a drink?  Why sure.  You all can."

After pouring five additional GlennKaren glasses with this lucious bourbon, I asked why they broke into my home, as I handed each a glass.  Lt. Robert responded, "We're looking for a Perv who lives in this tenement matching your description.  But hell no can it be you.  We obviously got the wrong apartment.  After all, no man who drinks Kentucky Gentleman can be a bad guy.


Now, of course, that is a paraphazed advertisement inside of a 1956 Sports Illustrated magazine I found in my Grandfather's garage years ago but one I will never forget.  I tell you, those '40s and '50s bourbon advertisements were just great!  What a time to be alive and drinking bourbon.  Too bad those carefree, purified days are over.

Gone are those days but, dare I say, we are in golden age of bourbon like no other.  If I may make a baseball reference, this is like going back in time and watching Johnny Rice and Dave Raghetti battle it out on the baseball diamon in '77.  We have so much quality bourbon in our midst, that it's almost unfathomable.

I mean, how many off-shoot micro distilleries are pumping out top notch, unique, collector's items, bourbon like the Knob Creek distillery, Booker's Distillery, KD, Diageo, George P. Stagg Distillery, W. E Weeler Distillery and so on?!  I've never tasted so much diversified bourbon in all my life and I lived through the great bourbon glout of 1956 when bottles in bond were 50 years old and 100 proof (Snitzel and Weeler and Old Grand Pop to name a few).  And I will tell you, even still, we've got it much better than that.

Let's be thankful to originator and Grandfather of Straight Bourbon, Elijah Craig and those who brought it to the forefront like Elmer T. Lee, Bill Bixby, JJ Dynomite and Mr. No.

Boys, we have it good.  And even though it makes my job tougher (with all the reviewing of so many bourbons, covering the opening of so many new distillerators, interviewing so many bourbon legends, and ectcetra), it sure is a blast!

What's that old saying, "Find something you love and never work a day in your life."  Well, don't that hit the nail on the head?  Don't it?!

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